Cats, Crafts and Crap - My week in review

Wow! It's a good thing I'm not being paid to blog. I wrote this on Monday and here it is Friday and I'm now posting it!

It's not even December yet and I'm already about to lose my religion.

Kids are back home from school. Since I won't get anything else done because I have to watch them to make sure they actually DO their homework, I figure I'll just type away the events of the day and weekend.

I got a wild hair up my ass and rolled out a couple of crafts. Okay, so I really only finished one project and started another.

During an Ambien moment, I started surfing the internet for making a purse out of jeans. Not as easy as I thought it would be. Especially since these are low rise. That places the back pockets slightly lower than the crotch. Which makes it difficult (at least for me) to cut it even.

Anyway. I have three cats. I'm always harassing the kids to make sure they don't leave out anything that a cat might chew or eat and cause them to get sick and/or die. I don't want to lose my furry little ones and a vet bill these days nearly requires a second mortgage on the house.

Low and behold, I left out a spool of thread on the dining table and noticed it appeared to be moving on it's own. I followed the line only to find the other end of it in the kitten's mouth. I carefully pulled on it. And pulled. And pulled. I was horrified. Was all of this coming out of her stomach? As of now she appears to be fine. But it would figure that I'm the one who's always paranoid about the cats finding something the kids left around... It will probably be me who kills the cat.

Cats are like Vegas, 24 hours of entertainment available. They all seem to have their own unique personality.

I found our "kitten" in August last year. I was on my way to pick up kids from school when out the corner of my eye, just a few feet from the road, was this little black thing with it's mouth wide open meowing. We really didn't need another cat. We also really didn't need a vet bill. But there was no way I could drive by this poor thing and risk seeing her dead in the road on the drive back. So this sucker pulled off onto a side street and tried catching her. I cringe at the thought that she could have darted out into the road and got run over while I watched. Luckily I was able to grab her. I drove to school to get kids. With the cutest black and white kitten in my lap.

She was a costly little bitch.

But I love her to pieces. Turned out that she has a dead paw. She has to walk on her right "elbow" with the paw curved in. I felt so sorry for the poor little kitty. She was so pitiful looking.

Poor little pitiful kitty... my ass. After having her for a few weeks, I opened the bedroom door. She flew out like a bat out of hell, charging up the stairs. I had a con artist on my hands.

My oldest, is a black ton of fur. I would expect her to rattle the house when she walks by but she's quite stealthy. I never hear her coming. She was a real piece of work when I got her. She spent the first week hiding behind the TV set. Petting her was out of the question. She was a black beauty with the personality of an exorcism patient. Now she's sweet as pie. The cat who barely let me pet her now sleeps in between my husbands legs.

The middle one is a dopey white male. It amazes me that this big cat once fit in the palm of my hand when I found him. I drove up to the house one day after work and could hear him crying from the inside of my car. At the time I had no clue what I was hearing. I followed the cries which led me to some shrubbery where this itty bitty white kitty kept crawling away from me. How he go to my house I will never know. No one nearby appeared to have kittens. I lived on a fairly busy road. My assumption is that he must have been dropped off.

So, fast forward about two years. I'm laying on the couch trying to read while he's trying to distract me. The usual cat activity of walking all over me, sticking his butt in my face. Wait, what the hell is that sticking out of his ass? Mr. Sparkly Butt apparently ate an iridescent ribbon and it was now waving itself in my face. Let me tell you, he was not a happy camper when we finally pulled it out.

I busted him today. He was about to drag his pink buttoned ass across the floor. What the hell did he eat now? Now what's stuck in his butt? I grabbed him by the tail, lifting him up a bit only to find... a legitimate piece of crap.

It's Monday, right? Silly me. I went to Michael's Arts and Crafts today. The store looked like it would on the weekend. So much for doing a little shopping in peace. I went for an Advent wreath and candles. Easy enough. Or so I thought. I found a wreath. I found three purple candles. But not one pink candle in the store. Surely, they would have a pink candle left over from Pinktober.

Nope. I asked.

They didn't even have pink candles for breast cancer awareness month.

I was stunned. I thought everything went pink in October???