Freaked Out Friday at Five

Sigh.

As I write this, my mother-in-law is lying in the hospital waiting to be moved into Hospice care tomorrow.

Things come about so quickly sometimes.

She had been diagnosed with breast cancer about two years ago.  All of the usual activities of a cancer diagnosis took place.  A mastectomy, some lymph nodes removed, radiation and a few pills to pop every day.  Doctor follow-ups, etc.

But last week she was admitted to the hospital.  Her hip had been bothering her for quite some time and had only gotten worse.

We may never see a final report of all that she had.  We knew the doctors had found several lumps in her plumbing.  Or at least that's what we were told.  Then it became only two very large lumps.  It was reported that she had cervical cancer and possibly cancer in her uterus.  Maybe in her bones.  And then to top it all off, only 10% left of her liver.

Needless to say, after learning this afternoon of the Hospice move, I grabbed a pill of my own.

I have no clue what condition either of my parents are in these days.  My parents went through an ugly divorce more than 20 years ago while I was in my twenties.  Dad had a way of burning his bridges.  Mom disowned me just around the time I got married in February 2010.

Life can be such a beautiful thing.  But it can also be a heavy burden on one's mind when there is so much disfunction in a family and the addition of cancer and the oncoming death of a loved one.

It's Friday.  I'm freaked out.

Yes, cancer does suck.

Fuck You, Cancer

On the first Saturday of October, I broke down and did something I've never done.  I went platinum.  And pink.  I have dark hair.

Did I do it for breast cancer awareness?

Fuck no.

I spend all year with awareness.  After all, I have only one breast now, thanks to cancer.

Nope, I did it because I wanted to.  The hospital I volunteer at has a policy against unnatural hair colors, etc.  But they do have a little leniency in October.

So, I took advantage of their leniency and had my hair bleached out and added some great pink color for shits and giggles.

I figured, if everyone else can have fun this month why can't I???

So back to cancer.

About this time last week my mother in law got admitted to the hospital.  She had previously been diagnosed with breast cancer about two years ago.  But today, she lies in a terminal state...it's cancer.  Cervical cancer they think.

It's things like this that get me bent out of shape with Pinktober.  Where are all the parties and tulip gardens for other cancer victims?  Sure, there is some teeny tiney appreciation I have for all the "advances" in breast cancer treatment.  But, what if I had been diagnosed with brain cancer?  Or cancer of the bladder or cervix?  Where is the outpouring of support for those diagnosed with other cancers who deserve just as much attention as breast cancer?

Oh, nevermind.  I said breast.

Fuck you, breast cancer.

Wandering Wednesday

I'm back!

And more disorganized, distracted and dysfunctional than ever.

Welcome to Wandering Wednesday.  A blog post of my scatterbrain thoughts of today.

Wow!  I just realized that it's been almost a year since I last posted here.

I haven't been around The Pink Birdie in quite awhile, other than to "secure" a bunch of blogger titles for my purse obsession.  My original plan was to use a different handbag every week and write about it and the bags I obssess over.  I'm a purse junkie.  I may have well over a hundred bags with no place to carry them to and nothing to fill them with.  They're mostly impractical fantasy bags. The oversized Brahmin bags that I'm afraid to use because I don't want to mess them up.  The large Michael Kors Gansevoort totes that I thought were practical for me.  As you can see, I didn't get very far with my plan.

It's that way with most everything in our home.  Especially with me.

There seems to be a contagious and incurable disease running rampant in our house.  Attention Deficit Disorder.  It can ruin a day, a week, a month... and even years.  That "just a minute, I need to check my ebay account" turns into a couple of hours searching newly listed and ending soon handbags.  I need to email so and so, but let me just see what's going on on Facebook first.  Oh crap, I need to load the dishwasher... Squirrel!!!

See? I started off with the intention of

Is that a bug on the bedspread?  Shit, OCD doesn't pair well with ADD either.  With a husband, three kids, three cats and now a 65 pound puppy in the mixture, I've been known to roll the lint roller across the bed several times in one night.  That dust bunny?  It's been examined under the magnifying glass.  More than once.

I need a chill pill.

Tomorrow, it's back to posting about Pinktober fest.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take an Ambien and do just a little more purse browsing.