Getting It Off My Chest - Part 2

Dear Mom,

Happy fucking birthday.

Wow. Just typing and seeing that freaks me out. A little.

I'd like to thank you for disowning me after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm sure it was just too tragic an event for you to deal with.

I know, you must have been outraged that I could be diagnosed with such a disease and then get married and abandon you.

I mean, after all, life really sucks for you. Lord only knows how many times I had to hear you complain about things. You wondered why you had to suffer. Why you?

Why not you?

Well, let's see. You had it worse than starving children in Ethopia, didn't you?

And your children? We were such horrible kids, weren't we? You did say I gave you nothing but trouble. It's a darn good thing for you that you didn't have any kids who got hooked on drugs and ended up in rehab, or worse, dead in a gutter somewhere from an overdose.

I gave you nothing but trouble? Let's see. I was, technically, a virgin until I married in my forties. I never shacked up. I never got pregnant out of wedlock. I wasn't a drug addict. I hardly drank. I never married and divorced several times and/or had kids to ask you to babysit so I could hit the bars.

I never dated married men (at least not that I know of).

Out of courtesy, and probably stupidity, I'd call you to let you know if I was going out at night. Only to have you chew my ass out for wanting to "stick myself out there". And because it was easier, I stupidly stayed home instead.

So again, I'd like to thank you for disowning me.

Aside from the breast cancer, life has been pretty grand. I've gotten married to a wonderful guy. I've done things that I might not have done before. I got to visit the "big apple" this summer for the first time, see Times Square, drive by Ground Zero, got as close to David Letterman as I'd probably ever get. Oh, and I went to Montauk. I didn't know where Montauk was before. Wow.

Oh, yeah, and I'm taking karate lessons. I've made it to orange belt.

And although it's taken me quite some time (and some pills) to let go and not feel guilty about "abandoning" you, life has been peaceful and sometimes serene without you (even with 3 kids).

Sincerely,

The Woman Formerly Known as Your Daughter

P.S. Silly me, I almost forgot about your claim that my cancer was a punishment from God. I'll have to discuss this with Him sometime soon.