Monday, November 26, 2012

Cancer, Anxiety and Some Harassing, Stalking Neighbors

At what point in the history of this great country had it become okay for people to think that they can control their neighbors yards in order to please themselves?

As if I haven't had enough stress and anxiety with the blow of breast cancer, the loss of my left breast, the frustration of ill-filling clothes, the anxiety and never ending thought of a recurrence, my mother disowning me and telling me that my cancer was God's punishment, marriage to a widower with three young children, I now have...

Pond piranha.

Our lovely neighbor, bless her heart, who resides across the pond from us has taking a liking to harassing us.  All of this because she finds our BACK yard unsightly.

About 2 or 3 years ago, at the height of my cancer stress, some "concerned" neighbor felt the need to contact the Town and report us as having had a nuisance in front yard, about 15 feet from the road.  It was a large trunk of the remains of a deceased, very old Willow tree.  Fine.  God forbid we have a dead tree in our yard next to the pond.  We spent the day with it chained to the truck cutting it and pulling it out.

Interestingly enough, we replaced the tree with another willow tree which has since died.

Then, the following spring, we let the kids take the kayak into the pond taking turns.  Next think I know, I looked out the back window to find a police officer speaking with my husband.  Again, a nice neighbor of ours called the police to report that they were "concerned" (yes, that was the word used) about children in a boat, in the pond (a two foot deep pond) without life vests on.  Seriously?  Even the officer looked at us like it was one of the nuttiest calls he has had to respond.  Officer informed us that there wasn't anything he could do about it, as there was nothing illegal going on.

In the meantime, a portion of our pond wall grew tired and began collapsing.  Estimates my husband received ranged from anything from $10,000 - $40,000.  Money which we do not have for repairs or replacement.

My dear husband took it upon himself to salvage as much as he could of the wall and that portion of our yard by layering stones to keep the yard from washing out.



Apparently, our lovely, bless her heart, female across the pond was totally unhappy with this.  As my husband worked in knee deep sludge laying out stones, she felt the need to begin taking pictures.  Hubby took a break, we sat in our yard enjoying a beer, when the paparazzi pushed her way closer and began taking pictures of us as we sat peacefully in our yard.  When we realized she was photographing us, we smiled and waved to her.

Whoa!!  She went ballistic.  She yelled profanities at us, shot us the middle finger, and stormed off.  Apparently, what was being done did not meet her approval.  It was something she just couldn't handle looking at.  They contacted the HOA, who has no control over it.  There is no requirement to have a retaining wall.  Said HOA contacted the Town to report a "structure" violation.  This also went no where as two people from the Town felt this was not their concern so long as the wall was not a hazard and not impeding drainage.

Ok.  So, we figured, done deal.

Not.  It was reported again to the HOA, who amusingly enough, reported the neighbor by name and address in the neighborhood newsletter and that he was requesting help from the HOA with a neighbor's unsightly yard.  (um, BACK YARD).

Approximately two weeks later, said female neighbor was witnessed in the yard of a neighbor behind us, shooting her camera at us, our home, the back of our garage (which by the way she is unable to see from her home) as well as other photos.

A week after that, we receive, probably the most unprofessional letter from an attorney notifying us of the pain his client is experiencing from the sight of our yard.  My goodness, the photos enclosed were taken with a zoom lens.  Now, really, does she spend the day viewing our yard through magnified lenses?

Most amusing to me was the "complaint" about our shrubs against our screened porch.  My guess is that this annoys her and limits her ability to view our activities on our porch with her binoculars and telephoto lens.

I'm not cutting this down, nor am I trimming it.  It is in our BACK yard, against the back of our porch providing shade and privacy.

I just don't know how much of this I can take before having a nervous breakdown.  I feel that my privacy has been violated.  I no longer open my shades in the kitchen for fear that I am being watched.  I can no longer enjoy my back yard on a nice sunny day without the stress and fear that she will step out and begin screaming and yelling at me and taking pictures.  After all, if she will drive around the block and enter another neighbors yard to take pictures of things she can't even see from her yard.... how far will she take this?

More pills.

How much can a stressed out breast cancer patient take from an abusive neighbor?

BTW, here is the "unsightly" yard with the stones removed and a couple of asparagus ferns for, well, I don't know, just because I love asparagus ferns and I think they look good draping over the wall.




Monday, July 30, 2012

Ambien food festival

I thought it might be a good night, turning in early.  Took my shower, dried my hair.  Took the usual nightly meds.  I did just what the package advised.  I took my Ambien on an empty stomach.

I dont recall it stating that I was to keep an empty stomach afterwards .  So, after several trips to fridge for an early midnight snack, I managed to consume at least 3 maybe four cheese sticks,  3 or 4 pepperoni stix and two chocolate covered graham crackers.  I still have a glass of cold milk next to my bed.  I think the food cravings have subsided some.  Now I just need to settle in and patiently wait for more acid reflux to make a mark on me tonight.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Peace and Justice

Useless piece of crap gets indicted for two murders

On a night that I should be rejoicing, I find myself with anger. Anger that Lisa Pate and likely Mickey Shunick died at the hands of another. How many more?

I should be celebrating that this useless piece of crap male has been indicted for the murder of these two young women.

I'm not.

I find myself unable to wish that he burn in hell. Unable to rejoice at someone receiving a death penalty. Yet, I don't want life in prison for him.

None of these "options" seem to be right.

None of these "options" will bring back these two women or any of the thousands of women in this country who were murdered.

It would be fair, I think, to douse him with jet fuel, light him on fire, and extinguish the fire just before the useless piece of crap croaks so that he really suffers inflict on him the same amount of fear and pain he put his victims through.

To be fair would be to make him suffer the same pain and anguish he inflicted on the families and friends of his victims.

But then I would be assuming someone like that is actually human.

RIP
Lisa Pate
Charlotte Murray Pace
Gina Wilson
Pam Kinamore
Randi Merrier
Geralyn Desoto
Carrie Lynn Yoder
Trineisha Dene Colomb

FIND MICKEY NOW!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Midnight Munchies with my buddy, Ambien

Well, crap. Here I am awake at 2:00 in the morning typing like sissy fingers on the iPad. This typing screen is a crock of shit. Anyway, I've taken my usual nightly load of Ambien and one Lorazapam to get me kick started in that thing called sleep, slumber, whatever. I've noticed lately, and I call it the power of suggestion, that I'm now developing Munchies after my nightly cocktail. I have only become aware of it after another "survivor" told me she got hungry every time she popped an Ambien. Out of bed and swerving through the house like Bill Murray driving a golf cart in a foreign country with a dozen or so occupants, I come crashing into the kitchen filling up a glass of dark chocolate baking chips and a glass full of lemon-limeade. With a straw of course because I just brushed my teeth. So, I've been all caught up in the Shunick case, practically glued to the laptop, cellphone, and that glorified iPhone, also known as an iPad. I'm not invested in the case. I don't think i know her family and friends. I do suspect that I have worked for people who know her family from kids attending the same schools and a few people I know in the horse show/riding who's kids rode with her. I know where her family lives, because I know half a dozen people who either live in the same neighborhood or within walking distance. But I have a stronge interest in the case. I lived in Lafayette for all of my life. I only left from there about 4 or 5 years ago. But I was there during the Derrick Todd Lee murders. It seemed a bit chaotic, not knowing if he were black or white. Profilers generally label serial killers as white males. But DTL was not white. We weren't sure (or at the very least, I WASN'T SURE,) who or what to be aware of. I could associate myself with something of these women whom he victimized so brutally. But the one who most left a hole in my heart was Trineisha Dene Colomb. A young woman taken right from the grave of her mother who had not long passed away. This brutal beast, for a lack of better words, added insult to injury to her father, Sterling Colomb. Wounded by the lost of his wife and now only to have his daugher taken by this SOB. My heart is with Mr. Sterling tonight. May he be in peace. My hope is for closure for the Shunick family.

Friday, June 22, 2012

The Breast Burka

I couldn't help but rejoice at this article, yet at the same time feel her pain.  Having gone through a mastectomy and a failed reconstruction, I know that feeling of trying to wear certain clothes.  Even a simple sports bra digs into me.  Swimsuits have been a challenge.

http://www.abcactionnews.com/dpp/news/national/female-cancer-survivor-jodi-jaecks-can-swim-topless-in-seattle-public-pool

How true it is that had she walked into the public pool as a man, no one would have questioned her.

Why should she, or anyone else in her situation, have to hide herself?

We live in a society where breasts are everywhere.  Cleavage.  Women hardly cover themselves up in public.  Even in the house of God there are young and middle age women baring as much skin as they can legally get away with.

Why on earth should this woman be required to cover up?


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Worriers in Pink

Anxiety and depression seem to go hand in hand these days.  They're like two hyper active little girls holding hands running through a field of weeds.  Taking turns pulling the other down.

I had been doing pretty well lately.  At least with the anxiety.  That all fell apart yesterday afternoon after scrolling through my Facebook news feed.  Curiosity got me.  A high school friend posted well wishes on one of her friends photo.  I recognized the brace she had on and knew it had to be cancer related.  And, as usual, one click led to another and I learned that this lady had been previously diagnosed with breast cancer and that it had metastasized into her spine.

But it didn't all fall apart until a few hours later as I sat in church with my family.  All the burdens of life just rushed at me.  Sunday afternoon.  Father's Day.

I haven't seen my dad in maybe almost 20 years.  "No, not now. Not in church.  Don't start crying now after 20 years of not seeing him.  Just think, pizza.  Yeah, that's it.  Pizza, with extra cheese and lots of green olives."

And then, of course, I couldn't think of my dad without thinking of my mother who disowned me more than 2 years ago and told me that my cancer was God's punishment.  No, not anger.  Guilt, sadness, anxiety, "Thou shalt honor thy mother and thy father".  Crap.

And then the anxiety and the worry lead me to even more anxiety and worry.  Will all of this greif cause me another cancer?  Will the worry of another cancer drive me right into another?

I think of Ford's Warriors in Pink, a local foundation called Warriors 4 Warriors, and all kinds of other things about being a warrior because I've "survived" breast cancer.  I'm not a warrior.

I am a worrier.

A worrier in pink hell.